Our prayers have stains in them, our faith is mixed with unbelief, our repentance is
not so tender as it should be, our communion is distant and interrupted. We cannot
pray without sinning, and there is filth even in our tears. -Spurgeon
I am pleading with the Lord to change some things in me. And from what I know, cognitively at least, about His character and His word, He is good. And He is faithful. And loving. And patient. So, for me, that last one is good news. I feel like I am so stubborn and foolish and yet I continue to shake my fist at Him, wondering why this isn’t working out like I want or had planned. Even in my repentance and in my tears and groaning and my prayers I can feel the darkness in my heart.
And so I am beseeching Him to “turn the darkness into light”.
He has done it before.
Why not for me?