everyone thinks everyone else owes them something…


no one is good there is not even one.

the front pages of papers of children raped by rapists. iraqi torture chambers and we the blamed claim we’re blameless. wrong all. and swelling up inside of us there’s this pride in us this arrogance. and our only line of defense is the sense that i’m not half as bad as this friend of mine so i must be fine. we mean well dont we. yet i’ve never seen good intentions set a man free from hurt all. this poor unfortunate soul filling a single void with toy after toy girl after boy. how boring. this wasnt meant to be humanity’s life story. warring with God saying what have you done for me. bought all. hanging out for six hours marred beyond recognition in complete submission to the Father’s will still a proclamation was made louder than the loudest temptation. with more beauty than all His creation. more eternal than eternity more angelic than the heavenlies. it is done. you are bought with blood. accept. rejoice.

for freedom has come.

it sure does sound good…but since no one reads this, i’ll just try to convince myself.

The pain is overwhelming. I begin to ask why.

Now I am starting to wonder, do angels ever cry?

Do their hearts get broken when they’re turned away?

Do they have to turn and leave, when really they want to stay?

Were they sad that Christmas morning when God came down to earth?

Did they have to hold back tears as they proclaimed the Savior’s birth?

Were they happy when He began to walk, or sad when He scraped His knee?

Were they proud as He was teaching ‘cause the world He would set free?

Did they cry as people mocked Him? Did they weep at the sight of his tears?

Did they want to rush and save Him? Was this the worst of their fears?

Were they lonely while He was away? He was away defeating death.

Did they ever start to think he had breathed His own last breath?

Now that He’s in heaven, and I’m left here all alone,

Does He send His angels to save me, and claim me as His own?

While I sit here crying can they hear my plea?

Now I don’t wonder if angels cry, but do they cry for me?

I’ll never leave, I’ll never stray
My love for you will never change
But I ain’t ready to make up we’ll get around to that
I think I’m right I think your wrong
I’ll probably give in before long
Please don’t make me smile…

I just want to be mad for awhile.

thats all.

its been raining a lot here. and rightfully so, it seems. i like the rain and i like sitting on the patio listening to the rain and stealing my neighbors internet. its sort of thrilling. and yes, that is pathetic that i get my kicks out of stealing internet from the family next door. how sad. but regardless of the facts, i do enjoy this time. this time, here, in the rain, is pleasant. there is also a small creek behind my house. well, be hind the house i live in. its not mine, the house, dont get me wrong. and really its not even a creek. it is a runoff that turns into a raging stream when it rains a lot. like i previously mentioned it has been doing for the past few days. i just got my brakes replaced on my car today, and it was a kicker. good thing i have a daddy that was willing to help me out a bit with the payment. i would have had to sell my soul to drive off in my newly braked car. but all in all, the car is fixed and you’ll be happy to know that i still have my soul.

enjoy the rain. buy a house. fix your car. and dont sell your soul.

sounds like a complete week so far.